are we still trying for this balance thing?

Tonight, I feel an odd mix of overwhelmed and content. I am excited and nervous for the coming busy workweek. I am proud of what I've accomplished as this work year wraps up, while also counting the hours until we're on a full summer schedule and my weekends truly open up. As the worlds top Chelsea Fagan fan, I know I've mentioned her Tik Tok on not being busy. Well--this is the follow up and I honestly love that one even more. 

At this point on the internet I feel like we understand that the quintessential "work-life balance" is not really an equation anyone has ever solved. Self-care lists are just that--more lists and to-do's and things to leave undone. It seldom feels like we have enough choices about our work lives, our circumstances, to be able to make the changes we need for life to feel more manageable. This spring when life was feeling overwhelming, the phrase I kept saying to myself was I need my life to be tenable. Tenable! Maintainable.

That is tonight's cosmic question into the void: how do we make our lives maintainable? I love working. While the go-go-go schedule of late nights and early mornings and weekends is a little much, I also know myself and know I wouldn't be happy at a more typical 9-5. I love variety in my days and weeks. I love the different seasons of my work. I love being both out of the house and in the house. I love having so much personal autonomy. I love that I am the one in charge. 

And: I hate that it feels like I'm the only one keeping things afloat. I often feel overwhelmed. I dislike driving as much as I feel like I have to and I wish that work was easier to turn off. It feels like I am putting out fires all day--and that's exhausting. I want to feel like I'm building. 

This coming week marks the last huge event of the season, and I'll be in Boston just about every day next week. After that, it's Saturdays off and once July hits, Sundays off! This summer I am planning to help myself reset. I want to make time to learn and invest in the future, not just cram my schedule so I get a larger short-time paycheck. I will be home a little earlier in the evenings. I am going to try to do summer Fridays and only work a half day. I want to do "low dopamine mornings" and try to really curb my scrolling habits. I am going to try, try, try, to really stay on task and intentional with work and then put it away when I'm done. 

To be clear, life is pretty amazing. I go on walks every day. I've read 8 books so far this year. I see friends every week, and am religious about deep cleaning the apartment once a week. We just got back from a vacation to Mexico--and the fact that this outpouring of overwhelm is happening after a week on a beach should be perspective giving, but alas, not quite. I just want to ask, how much happiness is appropriate? How much contentment is...realistic? 

But instead: I would love to ask the age-old question--how do people do it? What is everyone's secrets? Is there a way to clean your house, read, work, go to school, have friends, while not feeling overwhelmed? What is a normal level of overwhelm? Is this really just a reframe, or do I actually need to burn my life down and build something--softer?

the right aesthetics

 

Tonight I am sitting in bed, stubbornly refusing to allow defeat on my Friday writing streak. Just three weeks ago, I decided that I missed writing and was re-committing to posting something on this blog every single Friday. I am sitting in bed, overtired, trying to make that happen. 

I didn't sleep enough last night, and my body is tired. My heart, though, feels almost unusually contented with the day. In my chest there is a distinct feeling of brimming. A persistent, if exhausted feeling of curiosity and the desire to mix things up and try something new. 

I've been feeling burnt out--a little crispy. Spring is a busy work season that comes on the heels of the other busy work seasons, winter and the holidays. Tomorrow is my last Saturday of the summer working (!) and I could not be happier. I am teaching my typical Saturday mornings schedule, and then there are shows at both skating clubs I primarily teach at. It'll be a busy day involving two rinks and essentially being on from 8am to at least 5pm. But when we are done--oh! I'm finding a cute restaurant with Chris and having a drink and releasing myself into a bit more languidness. 

Like seemingly the majority of younger-millennial women, my TikTok feed is filled with both *aesthetic* day in the life content and supposedly anti-aesthetic (bust still pretty cute...) lifestyle content. I eat it all up. I can't lie: I've been a lifestyle girlie from the beginning. When I first discovered blogs in late middle school, I would scroll to someone's first post and attempt to read the whole archive. In high school I wrote lengthy, existential emails to my favorite bloggers asking for advice that when boiled down came to: "how do I...live? Like, exist?" I do want to get ready with you. I do want to see what you eat in a day. I definitely want to see your 5-9 after your 9-5 and I love a dramatic anti-hustle culture audio over footage of your pretty productive day. I soak every bit of it in, and then I look around at my life and wonder how I could wrap this up in a bow. 

I think I have a more positive view on all this than most. I tend to believe most people are simply creative and trying their best; that people are just as authentic online as they are in real life (a place I've find to be surprisingly inauthentic) and that everything is fake and posed and filtered and we need to accept that and move on. But the piece that does strike a chord, is the desperation of everyone to find a little more light, space, and joy amidst a day of fitting into all of the boxes. 

A swipe of my thumb shows me younger and younger women buying flowers, making beautiful food, sitting on their apartment porches and reveling in the clink of ice against their metal straws. They pull their hair back and get to it, grinding through day jobs and side jobs while still pulling out their gratitude journals, taking a walk, making their beds. We can laugh at the pointlessness, the typical-ness, of a too-early morning routine that has you lighting the same candles as everybody else. We can wax poetic on how much of this we should believe, how they're too young to sound so war-worn and how maybe they would feel less overwhelmed if they put their phones down. 

Or--in a world that was built without their voices; after a girlhood where their preferences and dreams were trivialized, then commodified, then sexualized; after the lie of "doing the right things" leading to any stability--we can honor the bravery in showing up with bells on any way. This is a fight for survival, and we're refusing to even look ruffled. 

Intentional Living: Less Aesthetic, and More Mess

#1: A fun, special weekend breakfast at home. Fun brunch vibes!

(Sharing this post along with some more fun ways I've been trying to "live intentionally" this summer).

A perpetual theme in my thinking, Youtube watching, journaling, and existential crisis-ing is my deep desire to be living an intentional life. 

So much of life feels completely chaotic, and this year for me personally has been the most chaotic yet. In many ways, though, I'm incredibly grateful that this string of unfortunate events took place this year. For the first time in my entire life, I feel more equipped to handle it. Chris and I are stable, and good. We have strong friendships. We're both relatively comfortable at work, and have control over our work lives. We've started to feel like real adults, and with that our capacity to deal with challenges has grown larger. 

Moving in with Chris was a milestone in my life for many reasons, but one of the most challenging aspects of it at the time was what a strong break it marked between me living my life the way I wanted to, and me living in a way that my upbringing expected. Growing up in not just a conservative Christian household, but also a fundamentalist-leaning homeschooling community, moving in with a boyfriend carried the weight of not just a life change but of moral failure. At the time, I was still doing my best to be a good Christian and form my life in that way. While I didn't believe moving in together was wrong, I also spent a lot of my emotional energy coming up with ways to defend myself. 

#2: Always having fresh flowers (once a bouquet starts to die, I pull the ones that still look good and make these mini bouquets).

While we hadn't tried to hide it (and actually, had explicitly told our close church friends before we moved in together), a pandemic meant that it took six months before most of the people in my home church "knew." A lot of people were upset. We received heartbroken texts, and went to dinner with one couple who told us everything we were doing wrong. Fast forward a year, and we were engaged and starting to plan a wedding. We reached out to a church I had been to get married, and received a double sided pdf in response. The letter held many bullet points (and interestingly, only one bible verse) and demanded an apology from me. It stung. I felt abandoned and alone by a church family I had tried for a really long time to please. 

These scenarios, which all occurred within a year and a half of each other, were monumental shifts for me. They marked the first time in my life where I chose myself--my needs, wants, and desires--over the life that has being handed to me and expected of me. I grew up with a lot of expectations around me, as well as a lot of black and white thinking over what the "right" way to be was. Even when these expectations didn't seem to fit me (and to be honest, they often didn't), I tried my best to change myself for them rather than finding a different way. I did this as a kid of course, but I also did it as an adult...for way too long. 

#3: Cooking with both smaller portions of meat, as well as less days where we eat meat. This veggie stir fry has been a go-to this summer! Cheap, cleans out the fridge, and doesn't heat up the apartment. :)

The past few years have felt like crash-landing into an adult life where I actually have options. It's been exhausting, and to be honest, a little traumatizing. But while the last two years haven't exactly looked like a That Girl video waxing poetic abut the importance of routines, I can't imagine a way I could have lived these years more intentionally. In all the mess, this season of life meant me finally getting real about what kind of future I wanted. It was about me challenging old beliefs, and standing up to people and systems I had previously believed it a sin to question. For the first time in life, this season I embraced change and discovering new ways of looking at the world. We don't talk to talk about the mess, but I think the mess has way more to do with "living authentically" then we care to admit. 

Perhaps our views on living intentionally need to shift. Perhaps it's less morning routines and fruit infused water and more hard conversations, setting boundaries, and challenging yourself in therapy. Maybe living intentionally is making scary, annoying, and even mundane choices. I love an aesthetic "Sunday Reset" vlog as much as the next person (and honestly, maybe more), but we all must realize deep down that changing your sheets don't actually change your life. The most important stuff isn't the pretty stuff. 

As we've worked through everything the past few years, I have felt a lot of grief, a lot of anger, and a lot of disappointment. I've realized my self-esteem was based largely on what others think of me (a pretty unstable foundation). I have felt the inclination to hide from family, to hide from the world, just to avoid getting rejected. Carrying all of this has felt so heavy. 

#4: Taking a second to CHILL. I've been trying to be very aware about my energy lately, and turns out, after running around out in public for a few hours I am STRESSED and need to sit on the bed or the couch, have a fun drink, and just zone out or else my brain becomes mush. 

As the waves seem to settle, and a new season emerges, I'm preparing to feel a lot more satisfaction in this life we are living. We are only two months away from getting married! We are all moved in to our new apartment. Bear is behaving significantly better than he used to. We have fantastic friends that have stuck by us through all the sticky parts. And we're ready to live with a lot more JOY. 

Because it's a huge gift to get the chance to build a life. Though it feels like I'm starting from scratch, it's a gift to have a fresh start and to get to explore all the ways I could be. The world is truly brand new: are we sleeping in on Sundays or going for a run? Happy hours with friends or brunches at home? Beer or wine on a Friday night? Trash tv or curled up with a book? Where do we get the news? When do we read the news? How do we budget? Who are our friends? What are we valuing in the world, when we aren't told what to value? How are we showing up for our communities, when we aren't told who to show up for? What do I think and want, when I finally get to tune out decades of other voices?

#5: Going on way more fun, little adventures that remind us we are ALIVE and DOING THINGS! Bonus points if they include friends, and double bonus points if they include something local we haven't done before (this was a Portland Sea Dogs game!).

I'm excited to find out. I suppose if I had to have a quarter life crisis, I'm grateful for where this one led me. Here's to continued question asking, intention setting, deep thinking, and a lot more spontaneous fun in the next 3/4 of my life. 

Plant Your Own Gardens: Revisited

I've fallen in love with being independent.

I love having my own car. I love paying all my own bills. I love figuring out my schedule for the week without having to clear it with anyone else. I love taking myself out for coffee when I want to and coming and going as I please. I love making last minute plans with friends. I love (finally!) being able to actually do life and really pursue my goals.

In August I wrote Plant Your Own Gardens. I'm really proud of that post, because it's one of the few times I nailed expressing where my heart was at the time.

This summer, I took a mental step back from guys. I finally learned that weird, undefined half-relationships weren't making me happy. So I didn't wish for anything. I didn't look for anything. I took the time to get better about being confident on my own. And not just as a 'single lady', but alone. Driving down to Mass by myself. Going out without friends. Making my own decisions without feeling like I had to run it by 3-million people.

I am the only person that is going to get me where I want to go. So I needed to intentionally get more comfortable with myself.

And I did. I am so much more confident--and happy--than I used to be. I know myself better. I demand more of myself when it comes to focus and working towards goals. But I also loosen up more. I recognize when I need alone time, and I recognize when I need to stop being alone and choose to be social.

Plant your own gardens has turned into one of my favorite mantras. And to me, it means initiating. Not waiting. It means asking friends to go out, and then going by yourself if they bail. It means doing what you like, not what you think you're 'supposed to'. And it means giving yourself tough love when you need a pep talk.

I love being my own person. And I've learned that no relationship status can (or should) change that. Next time I'm in an in-between stage with some guy, I'm going to keep it in perspective and not let something so undefined dictate my time and emotions. Instead of messing up my mood with overthinking, I'll just let it be what it is and listen to my gut.

And should I ever move from in-between to something more, I'll only do it with the gut feeling that it's right. And only with the knowledge that I'm better, and happier, and more content with that person than I would be without them.

In You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly is asked if there's someone else. And she replies, "No. But maybe, the thought of someone else."

I am already in love. I'm in love with my life right now. I'm in love with the vision for my life in the future. And I'm in love with the feeling I'll have towards whatever guy ends up in my future. And since all that is already written on my heart, I'm sure I'll know him when I find him.

Happy Sunday! xoxo

Believe In Yourself

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Lately, I've been thinking about the term 'believe in yourself'.

I think--as a society--we overuse it. I feel like we've gotten away from it's meaning, it's power, it's validity. We tend to roll it off of our tongues as a quippy, be-all, end-all whenever anyone starts talking about dreams and goals.

But just telling someone to believe in themselves doesn't equip them with what it actually means to do that.

I am not going to lie. Right now, life has me scared, and stressed, and a little overwhelmed. I am very happy and excited for the future....but am also nervous for how things will work out. Keeping myself sane, inspired, and on-track is taking a lot of focus. But really, I think that's the key. We aren't going to stay inspired unless we actively seek inspiration. We won't achieve unless we actively pursue achievement. You have to empower your mind.

I read a great thing the other day about being a friend to yourself. Typically, that's the message plastered across body-positive posts....but it, too, means so much more. Being a friend to yourself means being gentle with yourself, but also knowing when to be really, really bossy and force yourself to get things done. Being a friend to yourself means acknowledging your insecurities....but also acknowledging when they're unfounded. Friends push us, challenge us, demand the best of us, believe in us.  Being a friend to ourselves involves the same things.

Believe in yourself.

Listen to what your 'self', soul, body, mind, is telling you.
Trust that you are real, and valid.
Have faith in your ideas, work ethic, dreams.

Believe in yourself so fiercely, everyone else can't help but believe in you, too.

Don't worry about other people. But give them something amazing to watch.
Don't undermine your dreams, goals, to-do lists.
Talk freely about what you want from life.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Commit to excellence. Every day.
Be great in your own unique way.
Have faith that the process will get you there.
Work tirelessly for your vision.

Happy Tuesday! xoxo

Three Attitudes

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One thing I've learned this year is the importance of focusing on (and actively choosing) our attitudes. I definitely believe that we have more power over our thoughts than we usually give ourselves credit for. It's really, really easy to get swept up in negativity and doubt when things go wrong...but, we do have the choice to resist it.

I joke about how I have no will will power. Like, zip. Like, I'm talking about eating healthier while pouring myself a handful of chocolate chips. But really, I do have it. We all have it. I just need to be better about choosing it.

So whether you're going back to school, heading into the workforce, or doing any other number of inspiring, go-getter life things this season, here are three attitudes to keep you going strong.

Trust the process // This is actually a takeaway from the book Creativity Inc.; Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull, which I read in June. The book talks about the history and process behind Pixar Animation, but there is so, so much that is applicable to all creative lives.

When Pixar is working on a new story, they don't always get it right right from the start. Often, they'll know something is off...but they can't figure out what. But rather than giving up, they keep working through the steps, fixing little things and trying others, and eventually, the problem is found and a great story created. But they have to let go of understanding everything, and simply trust that the process will get them there.

It's important to 'trust the process' in our own lives. Keep going. Keep working. Keep focused. And eventually, the process will lead you to the destination. Sure, we don't always know what that destination is. But chances are, it will be better than what we initially set out to do.

No need for permission // This is huge for me. I get very wrapped up in what people will do/think/say/want....and it's just not good.

Should we be kind to people? Yes. Should we be helpful to others? Yes. Should we reach out? Yes. But should we base our personal life decisions off the opinions of everyone we meet, or trudge through doubt simply because a stranger pointed out an insecurity? No. Definitely not.

We don't always have to wait for permission. People aren't going to walk up to you and hand you a personalized life plan. You have to get up and make things happen. So ask for things! Seek out your own opportunities! Make your own game plan!

Life is waking up an hour earlier to live an hour longer // To me, this one is all about saying yes. Pushing yourself. Not settling for what feels nice, or is comfortable for a time. But instead, making active decisions that lift us up and make us better.

Self-sabotage is a real thing. So often, we give ourselves mental blocks like 'I'm not good enough' 'I'm not ready yet' 'I have nothing to contribute.' But that's crap. We have to get up and create our lives--our contributions--and start putting them out into the world, because starting is the only way we'll meet our goals.

Who's pumped for this new season?

Happy Tuesday! xoxo

Plant Your Own Gardens

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One day, you're 16 and you're boring holes in the back of the head of the cutest guy in driver's ed. And you're watching all the couples and all the flirtations in the room, feeling completely outside of it.

Then one day, you're 17 and you're distraught over a date with a guy who likes you but you...don't.

And then, you're 18, and you've dated 3 guys since Christmas. And you can never decide if that number's big or small, and you never got official, so maybe they don't even count.

And you learn that the off-times between dates are so much lonelier than all the off-time a year ago. A simple case of not knowing what you're missing till you've had it, I guess. And you dig up insecurities you'd thought you'd buried. And you question things you'd always taken for granted. And you find out it's so much harder to make real-life, real-time decisions about things you've previously only thought about hypothetically.

And you find that your heart jumps from very high highs, to very low lows, very quickly. And you find your happiness too dependent on the speed of text-backs. And you actually start to question if setting out with hope, and focused on the best outcome, is the way to go about it. And you hate that you have to think that.

And in a multitude of little ways, you loose yourself. It's been a whirlwind, and we're only 8 months into 2015.

But it's okay that you went a little crazy, because you came back and found a better version of the girl you used to be. And you learned to judge more by actions than words, and how to laugh off lame excuses as a reflection of them, not you.

And you find peace. Since you don't remember when, you find peace, and soak it up. You come back to what you love and you decide to dig yourself deeper. You crave quiet time with just your thoughts, and journal entries and walks and all the things you had stopped making time for. And you realize the absolute, obvious truth that your life is yours. And that is so exciting!

So what will it hold? You can build it from scratch. What will you eat for breakfast? What will you pursue? What will you save money towards? What will you let slide? The idea of independence invades every one of your goals. You start craving your own space. Your own experiences. Your own, personal, coffee dates. And with a dark green car, and a bright green wallet, possibility is at your fingertips.

And you become so enamored with the idea of crossed off goals, new pursuits, new planners, new phases, that you're happy to leave old baggage behind. You crave presence and commitment, dreams and hope, faith and positivity. So you start chasing those things yourself. Because you're the best at filling your own voids.

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Happy Tuesday! xoxo

11 Quotes to Cut the Haters and Go For It

While we all know how important it is to have faith, be unique, work really hard, and never stop believing in yourself, let's face it: sometimes it's really hard to battle insecurity and self-doubt. And dealing with people who don't understand/support what you're trying to do can be exhausting.

With that in mind, I've pulled together my favorite quotes to inspire you to cut the haters and just go for it. Release the rockstar, my friend.

Just in case you've forgotten.

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Remember, they don't really know YOU. Surprise them.

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Starting over is always an option.

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Step one to being awesome: don't be a miserable cow.

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Our favorite stories are those where the heroes overcome obstacles. Translate that to your life.

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You are always in control of yourself. You decide how you react and what you pursue.

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Don't be like the rest of them, Darling.

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Sometimes what the world sees as a fault is actually our strength. Don't apologize for who you are.

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Get up out of bed and create a life you love.

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Small minds have no place here.

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And finally, don't let people scare you.

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Happy Weekend! xoxo

Also: Permission To Shine, 5 Attitudes for a Happier Spring, and You Know All Those Things You've Always Wanted To Do?

Permission To Shine

#permissiontoshine, as Instagrammed by the amazing Hilary Rushford, has to be one of my favorite things the interwebz.

It's a phrase that I keep coming back to when I'm needing a little more motivation. As the school year is finishing up, I'm thinking more about this next part of my life. I have definite goals and clear 'first-steps' to get me there, but there are SO many parts that are still hazy. Cheesy as it sounds, in my heart I know that I need to do what I'm setting out to do. I am passionate about the things I want to pursue. I'm willing to work my butt off for them. And isn't that what really matters?

But, honestly, there's so much doubt. I've complained before about how much getting flak from people bugs me. Lately, the flak I get has just been bringing up my own insecurities. Huh, this thing I wanna do is gonna be really hard plus there's probably a low success rate? Wow! Never thought of that, before! Thanks for the heads up, people!

Here's the thing though: it's not their fault. It's mine. End of the day, no one (and no amount of flak) is holding me back. And it's immature and ignorant to make that my excuse for not trying my hardest. Instead, I have to look doubt in the face and tell myself, "you have permission to chase this and do your best and take a risk and see what happens."

And to me, that's what #permissiontoshine is all about. It's we as individuals giving ourselves permission to be our best selves. So often we hold ourselves back. Maybe we think it's too risky, or too weird, or too hard, or simply that we're not good enough. "Who are we", we say, "to do something different? Make something great? We're NORMAL."

Just know this: you are NOT normal. Normal is mediocre and boring and easy (but not worth it).

Instead, you are great. Strong. Powerful. Smart. You've got a heart of gold, killer style, gut instincts worth trusting and a quick-to-learn brain. You are artsy and inspiring and you're very own self to the core. And you must give yourself the permission to:

Try.
Risk.
Fail.

Try again.
Work crazy hours.
Push yourself to your limits.
Be out of the box.

Keep going even when the world calls you crazy.
Believe in yourself with a fiery passion.
Take a mental health day when you need it.
Jump on opportunities.
Follow your heart.
Trust your gut.

I believe that we all have the capacity to do something great (in a big or small way) and make some contribution to the world. But I also believe only a handful of us tap that potential. For me, giving myself the Permission To Shine means allowing myself to always give my all, on the chance that I have something important to give.

Faith is not an easy thing to keep. That surprised me, even though it shouldn't have. But while I've learned faith is sometimes hard to have, I've also learned it's vital. We must have faith in God. In hard work. In love. In truth and the power of doing what's right.

And....in ourselves. We must believe that there's something for us to do here. And then make the decision to chase it, believe it, live it. I don't know about you, but I think our futures look bright.

Happy Weekend! xoxo

5 Attitudes for a Happier Spring

Spring!

Rejuvenation!

Rebirth!

Everything's blooming!

All that crap!!

You knew I had to get a Seinfeld reference in there somewhere, didn't you? ;)

As winter trudges by (and believe me, this winter trudged), it's all too easy to fall into ruts. Maybe it's the lack of light or the cold or the slush that keeps us from wearing our favorite shoes, but it's safe to say that winter often induces a bored, negative outlook. I definitely know I've been in and out of ruts all season.

But with spring comes the perfect opportunity to intentionally shed the winter bleghs and gain some perspective! I said intentionally because that's what it really takes to turn your attitude around. Don't float about waiting for moods and feelings--step up and take charge! Hope you like these five mantras perfect for a happier spring.

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01: Be The Real Deal.

No time for fakers. Or talkers. Or haters. Don't tell people you're someone great, be someone great. They'll figure it out for themselves, promise. ;P

02: Dig Deeper.

So simple, but so true. Dig in your heels and reach inside yourself, totally unafraid to search for that original, motivated, complete essence of you. You might just surprise yourself.

{here}

03: To love is to risk, therefore, to love is to be brave.

When a relationship ends (romantic or otherwise), the last thing we usually feel is brave. But opening yourself up enough to love someone is a hard and noble act. Be proud of yourself! You're a rockin superhero out to save the world with her big heart.

04: Life is Short (Don't Be Lazy).

Not in work. Or art. Or friendships. Or keeping up values. Or heading to yoga. Life's too short (and you're too smart) to be lazy.

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05: She Believed She Could So She Did.

What do you want to do? Go do it. Simple as that.

Happy Weekend! xoxo

25 Ways To Be (a little more) Fabulous

Hey guys.

First off: apologizes for my sudden blogging disappearance. I know you've heard it all before, and, let's face it, you're probably gonna hear it again in the future, but I got really busy. It's been a big adjustment, this senior year thing. But I've really, really missed our weekend chats. And I really am going to try to be better. Forgive me?

Over here, I've been in a rut. I feel lazy...and sluggish...and just generally lacking in inspiration. And I feel so wretched to pop back on the interwebs to tell you that. Because honestly, life is great. I've got so much to be thankful for, I'm doing new stuff, and I really feel like a new phase of life is opening up at my feet. But getting out of bed in the morning, or just off of facebook, has been embarrassingly hard.

I'm at the point where I really just need to slap myself in the face and pull myself out by my bootstraps. I've been repeating Coco Channel's quote like a mantra, "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Hopefully, I can attempt to leave this weekend with a little more fab in my step than I started it with.

So as a reminder to myself, here's a list of 25 ways to be a little more fabulous ('cause let's face it, you're already pretty cool).

01: Make faces at yourself in the mirror while you get ready.
02: Actually do yoga.
03: Make afternoon tea (or coffee!) a thing.
04: Commit to exclusively using colored pens. Purple's my go-to.
05: Throw on a scarf (sweater weather's better weather!).
06: Paint your nails. a $2 bottle of Sinful Colors always makes me happy.
07: Find your personal life mantra. I like "Nothing is ridiculous."
08: Do some goal writing. Like, legit, time sensitive goal writing.
09: Eat a doughnut this week end.
10: Call up that one friend you NEVER talk on the phone with.
11: Watch Seinfeld. 90's TV will always be amazing.
12: Jam out to the Beach Boys WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE WERE OLDER.
13: Poke the cutest guy on your friends list. I dare you.
14: Actually sit down an do your homework. And then share your self-motivation secrets with me.
15: Grab some non-fiction free reading.
16: Compliment someone on a random trait--their voice? Their openness? Try to make it something they haven't heard before.
17: Meet up with your best friend. Because no matter what, it's been too long. I suggest combining this with number 9.
18: Take a look back at yourself from a year ago.
19: Smile at a stranger. And see how weirded out they get.
20: Actually be smart about current events. Know what's going on, have an opinion, and take a stand.
21: Do some tidying. Fold that laundry. How long has it been since you vacuumed?
22: Make a photo wall.
23: Make that healthy food you genuinely love. Lately, I've been obsessing over vanilla yogurt with almond granola, and PB apples are always a favorite.
24: Tackle that inbox. No matter how intimidating.
25: Stick some money in savings. Look at you, being all responsible.

There we go! Let's rock this weekend, and step into Monday a little more sassy, classy, and fab, okay?

Happy Weekend! xo

Doing It All

Guess what!

You don't have to be good at everything!!

No, seriously. 

I have a natural penchant for wanting to do everything. And in a way, blogging's intensified it. I'll find a new blogger that I absolutely LOVE...and suddenly I'm whisked away, inspired by her life to completely change mine. 

There's this blogger; I'm sure you've all got your own version of her. The Perfect One. She has a million children, a cute husband, and is insanely fit. She's got the best hair, wears heels in literally every outfit post, cooks, bakes, crafts, gardens. Plus, she runs a pretty successful blog and seems to have endless cash to buy the newest makeup products and clothes.

Honestly, reading her...I get a little bit of the green eyed monster. Why can't I be completely awesome and on top of things??

But here's the thing: Superwoman doesn't actually exist. Technically, there was Supergirl, and there was Wonder Woman, but no actual Superwoman. She literally does not exist.

So we get caught up in the thinking that such a thing is attainable, when it's completely not.

Recently I wrote a post about just being yourself. In it, I mentioned that being your authentic self is about embracing your good points, and your bad points (funny how no one ever talks about that last one).

Part of not being like everyone else is accepting that we will not be perfect. Because if we were perfect, we'd all be boring clones. And nothing interesting would ever happen.

This past year, I made the definite decision that skating was not only what I wanted most, but also something I had to fully commit to. That's meant a lot of things, but mainly facing the fact that I can't do everything. Or at least, not do everything and expect to be good at anything. You have to make two combined decisions: what to do, and what to not do.

That face...

So, in that spirit, here's a list of things that I can't do. Someday I might. But for right now, I'm terrible at these, and am choosing to be okay with that.

1. Knitting. I've been knitting my current scarf for 2 years, with a plain old boring knit stitch. And many mistakes.
2. Sewing. I always end up crying. And with so much anxiety it's stupid.
3. Cooking dinner. I've always wanted to have a day of the week where I cooked dinner. But we don't, because scheduling is a nightmare and I should probably just do schoolwork. Oh, and I can't cook.
4. Have gorgeous handwriting. I'll never be one of those Instagram-ers with witty handwritten quotes on post it notes, that's for sure.
5. Actually have an Instagram. I love the idea of it...but, lack of smartphone=lack of insta-posting=pointless INSTAgram account.
6. Crafting anything. I stink at crafts. Like, legitimately stink at them.
7. Put my hair in a bun with one hair elastic. HOW IS IT DONE? I'll probably never know.
8. Read a book a week. Unfortunately, the time just isn't there (right now).
9. Blog for a living. This is a big one. I've really had to step away from the whole GROW, BLOG, GROW! mindset. Right now, it's not what I need (but hopefully someday!).
10. Go to more estate sales, yard sales, and thrift stores. I'd love to spend weekends just driving around buying junk. :)
11. Make up recipes. Especially baking recipes.
12. Learn to swing dance, and actually go dancing. How awesome would that be?

What's interesting to you, but something you have to say no to right now?

Outfit Details: top //  hand-me-down, pants // old navy, belt // thrifted, bandanna // walmart, flats // payless, sports bra //  kohls.

just be you

Lately, I've been thinking back to the importance of just being you.

Just learning to unapologetically, completely, be you. With all your quirks and your weirdness. With all your normalcies. With every last authentic ounce of your being, just be you.

"I have never met someone who is living a bold and successful life--and by successful, I mean prosperous, kind, and in touch with the meaningfulness of what they're doing--who has apologized for being perfectionistic, mercurial, unrelenting, or whatever their slightly controversial hallmark characteristics are.

You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too soft, too loud, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you loose your edge." {pin it here!!}

The one thing that you have that everyone else doesn't, is you. Your voice and stories and personality. Your style. But being you isn't about just embracing your best qualities--it's about embracing your not-so-great qualities, too. The things that society has told us aren't 'right'.

Because really? What is normal?

So speak softly, or talk really loud.
Drink too much coffee, or just drink tea.
Overplan, overanalyze, and overthink.
Or let things go.
Dress up, dress down.
Get up early.
Stay up late.
Work long hours.

Do whatever it takes, whatever works for you, and don't hold back for fear of 'being weird'. Because nothing is ridiculous. Normalcy isn't reality. And there's no point in being anything but bold.

8 Ways To Make The Most of Spring and Summer 2014

My number one goal for the rest of this spring and summer is to make the time worthwhile. A true procrastinator at heart, I really have to commit to making the most of something to really make the most of it. As I've mentioned, this was a LONG winter. Now, winter's my favorite season: so when I say it's long, it's long. But this extended 'hibernation' has really pepped me up for spring and summer.

Right now, I'm going through a little transition. Wrapping up some school subjects, and starting in on others. Trying to get a job. Making a new skating schedule, since the times all change in the summer months. I am really determined to finish up this summer knowing I used every minute, and not regret all the time I spent on Pinterest or something. This spring, I'm really looking forward to just being alive. I want to work hard and get sweaty, explore, learn, save, and relax (but the good kind of relax--not the loafing kind I do far too often!! :P). I can't wait for fun times with friends, 'deep' conversations, and hours spent reading alone. Basically I want an adventurous summer.

I suppose the reason for all this is, in the back of my mind, it's sorta my last 'usual' summer. I'll be a senior next year. Who know what my post-grad summer will be like? This summer is all about preparing for the future and reaching goals, all while really enjoying the present and connecting with those I love.

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To help me breakdown what all of this actually entails, I wrote out a list of 8 ways to make the most of this summer. Anyone in the same boat as me? What are your '8 ways'?

1.) Work hard. I'm committing to not taking the easy way out this summer. This obviously encompasses a lot, but I encourage you to really push yourself this summer. Don't just skimp by, don't go with the bare minimum. Do whatever it is you do to the best of your ability!

2.) Take a trip.  The best part of summer is that breaks can last more than a Sunday afternoon. And a trip doesn't have to be a big vacation...even a day trip or weekend with friends done on the cheap is just as exciting. Find someway to break up the monotony, and then add friends and family!

3.) Explore. Hike. Try a new coffee shop. Walk around downtown (maybe this is just me being weird, but I totally have Mary Tyler Moore moments whenever I do that! ). Just try something new, and see if there's a new favorite haunt you're going to want to keep through the school year.

4.) Get up. I know. I'm not a morning person. Personally, I'm going to try and sleep in only once a week, and then get up at my normal 6 the rest of the time. Sure, I don't like it, but getting up is the only way I get anything done. Not only do I do school better in the morning, but when I sleep in, I usually just waste the whole day...not a recipe for a fulfilling summer!

5.) Read. GAH. I love not having required reading! This summer, I really can't wait for time to just sit and have uninterrupted reading...I'm planning on bringing lots of books when we go camping in June, and hopefully getting a good amount of beach/lake reading in, too. Be sure to check the post I wrote last summer for my informal summer reading list. :)

6.) Dream. I can't speak for everybody, but I always feel a little more hopeful and 'invincible' during summer. Make a dream-board (badly needing to update mine...), write a life list, and take some time to journal. One of my bedroom walls is almost covered in sticky notes with random thoughts/ideas/quotes, but this summer I also want to write quotes on old paint chips and hang them on my other wall!

7.) Have a goal. This one sorta brings us back to No. 1. Set a goal for yourself--big or small--and then work hard to achieve it. Maybe you want to pass a skating test, get a job, read the Bible, take a challenging extra school course, get your license...whatever. Focus on something specific this summer!

8.) Be positive. Everything we do is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Right now, choose to make the best of things. No, this summer won't be perfect. There will be days when this is definitely not the amazing summer you're trying to have...but, that's life. I've been trying to adopt a 'do what you can, with what you have, where you are' attitude. We can always change things up and try something different, as long as we start now.

So tell me, what are some goals/dreams you have for summer? How are you going to go about attaining them? Have any suggestions for ways I could make the most of this summer?

Thanks for reading! Here's to a great summer, peoples! :)

We're The Heroines

A lot of bad stuff happens to us, doesn't it?

We get beaten down, stomped on, and then ignored. Either people don't care, or they simply don't listen. We're not given the opportunities we deserve, we aren't recognized, we aren't encouraged.

Or at least, that's what we're led to think.

We're led to think we're oppressed.

Unimportant.

Unworthy.

We're led to think we're victims.

If our lives were a novel, almost all of us would choose to be the Lizzy Bennets. At the end of our lives, we want to look back and know that we had it together. We had friends, romance, priorities. We worked hard for what we wanted. We want to know we were intelligent, caring, healthy and witty, even more than we want to know we were pretty. And we want to know we did it all ourselves.

I want to be the heroine, and there's nothing wrong with that. Being the heroine's the best part. Even the ones that don't get the happy ending are loved and admired, because they still did everything right.

We make being the heroine our goal. But day to day, we don't really emulate her, do we?

I know most days, I emulate the victim. What about you?

Being the victim is the easiest role. Victims can be selfish. They can be lazy and then complain they don't have what they want. They can be silly, fake, and just plain stupid. Even with all of that, though, some still get the happy ending. But they aren't loved. They aren't admired, or emulated. They don't have fans. But perhaps most importantly, they aren't happy people. They're the Caroline Bingley's, the Miss de Bourgh's, and sometimes even the Kitty's.

But we aren't victims. It's all a lie. I don't care if you HAVE been oppressed, laughed at, not given opportunities, or not listened to, you are NOT a victim. Life is hard. Bad things happen. But we need to make the most of it.

There are people in the world suffering. Many are in terrible situations. My heart goes out to them. I still, however, refuse to let anyone play the victim. No matter how bad things get, we still have the ability to hold our head up and be ourselves, if only in the smallest way possible. Maybe I'm idealistic and romantic, but I don't believe there's ever a good enough reason to 100% give up on yourself.

Being the heroine doesn't mean being perfect. You know the saying, 'the strongest people fight battles we never know about'? For me, being the heroine is being like that. We know we're not perfect, and perfect isn't our goal. Instead, we want to be the strong one. The one who coped when things went wrong, who got back up, and proved she wasn't beaten. A victim will complain. A heroine will quietly carry on.

I positively love this pin on 'Being an Austen Heroine'. I probably should have just given you the link, because it expresses what I'm thinking better than all these paragraphs. It's too long to post the whole thing here, so you better click through. Here, though, are some of my favorites:

-Treasure the people who believe in you.
-When the right thing hurts, do it anyway.
-Be prepared to laugh at yourself (and let others laugh with you).
-Be the right woman.
-Don't worry about your standards being too high.
-Know that friends can become family.
-Greet the world with energy.

Heroine's know that there's only one thing they can control: themselves. When all else is wrong, we can choose where we go from here. Our lives, our dreams, are OURS. I don't want to waste mine playing victim.

Thanks for reading! If you haven't already, could you pop over and answer my blog survey/question call? Much obliged!

Creativity and Adventures

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As a chronically lazy person, I do best with a busy schedule. Ironic? Maybe, but it's true. When I have free days, I end up spending too much time on the computer, or watching TV, or something else a little bit useless. On busy days, though, I find the most inspiration. I feel more relaxed and upbeat after a crazy, creative, happy day than one I actually spent resting. That's not to say I don't feel the need for breaks...I do. It's just that my best breaks consist of spending an awesome weekend working at a fair with the best friends a girl could hope for (like last weekend!), curling up with books that might be challenging but are worth it, and finally tackling a pile of clutter. 

I said I was lazy....but I do like a sense of accomplishment. 

To me, happiness means creativity, creativity leads to adventure, and adventure means a full life. So really, it all comes down to an attitude. If I wake up in the morning and consciously decide to make the best of the day and live with a zest for life, it will be a great day. 

Sometimes, I forget that my big goals, like skating and school, are part of being creative, too. I'll start to view them as chores, instead of as opportunities that will lead to even greater opportunities. Instead of feeling like I 'can't be creative right now' because I don't have time to write a novel, I should find little ways to instill that creative attitude into every aspect of my life.

If there's one thing that's rang out loud and clear to me, it's that life is an adventure. Some people's adventures consist of exploring the Amazon and touring Europe...and some don't. But that's OK. Because the act of living, of relationships, of getting an education, of reading, of working, of doing every little thing throughout your day, is an adventure. 

So go live your life. Work towards something big. Get up and do that little task you've been dreading, because it will bring you closer to your goal. And drink a cup of tea while doing it. I swear it will make it more enjoyable.

A Book Review: How To Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace

How To Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace

By: Jordan Christy

Genres: Non-fiction, Classy Chic-Lit, and Self-Help.

Whether it's a tube top, binge-eating, or the latest red carpet scandal, daily life seems to hone in one fact: classiness isn't a top priority. Now more than ever, our society is becoming a lazy cesspool of dumb-downed speech and low standards.

In How To Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace, Jordan Christy outlines these and other modern phenomenons and how to beat them. With an energetic, conversational style she candidly points out where we go wrong, something she calls 'Stupid Girl' behavior. She doesn't just shake her head at tasteless actions, however; she tells you how to avoid them.

Covering everything from dressing, etiquette, make-up application and the classy way to get a guy, this book is sure to inspire. One of my favorite aspects of the book is the sense of legacy Christy creates. She talks about how we should do our very best to be intelligent, modern, classy women because of the women who've come before us. Using examples like Elanor Roosevelt, Audrey Hepburn, and Florence Nightangle, Christy points out that we shouldn't throw away everything these women fought for. Throughout history, women have worked to make a better world, and our 'dumbing-down' just insults their hard work.

In addition to the text, Christy adds in quotes, recipes, and quizzes. Not to mention the adorable cover! Just carrying this book will instantly make you feel more classy. :)

Even if you already consider yourself relatively classy, this book will leave you energized and full of purpose. How To Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World is a quick read (it only took me two days), perfect for toting around while out in the summer sun. If you're ready for some old-fashioned values and a refreshing outlook, definitely pick up this book!

Being Fabulous

Scrolling through Pinterest the other day, I came across this pin...

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I was already familiar with this quote, but for some reason it really struck me just then. Was I being 'fabulous'?

There I was, surfing around Pinterest instead of finishing Algebra. Weeks worth of laundry piled around my room. On my nightstand were un-read books, dusty lists of goals, and unfilled journals. Where was my creativity, my motivation? Where were all the plans I had for making this an awesome summer? Pinterest certainly wasn't bringing me closer to my goals. So why was I still on it?

I think especially in today's world, pulling away from screens and getting back to 'real life' is increasingly hard. Our society is over-stimulated. It's so easy to get caught up in blog archives or Pinterest boards. If we see something we want, we go out and buy it, because most things are readily available to  us. Brainless reality TV shows suck us in, only because it's what's on after our favorite show.

But what exactly constitutes fabulous? Obviously, I don't know what was running through Ms. Chanel's mind when she spoke that lovely quote. And I think each person's version of fabulous will be slightly different. But to me, being fabulous means simply living a full, contented life. It means pursuing interests and working hard every day. It means having a good time out with friends one night, and being up at 5:00 the next morning for work, all without complaining. I believe that being fabulous is being unabashedly yourself, putting 101% of yourself into something, and doing what's right even when it's hard. Others know they can depend on fabulous people, because they're strong, kind, and honest.

For awhile, I've been settling for being hoe-hum and mediocre. Sure, I have a huge summer reading list, but my computer is already open; so why not surf instead? I've been acting burnt out, and unwilling to try new things. Now, I would love to make those cupcakes...but it's been such a busy weekend. Worst of all, I've been setting goals and then choosing not to pursue them. Let's get Algebra done by the end of the week! Oh, look...Youtube!!

Now, I'm not saying that being burnt out isn't real. After weeks and weeks of busyness, my mind and body does need some time to rest and not feel guilty about it. But lately, laziness and boredom, and basically failing to be excited about life, has been occurring on a daily basis for me. It's a rut, and one I need to get out of.

I've talked about being lazy before. Unfortunately, it's something that's inherently human and that everyone struggles with. But that doesn't make it okay. This summer, I'm looking forward to gaining that momentum and purpose that sometimes eludes me. I can't wait to do a lot of reading, geek out friends, try my hand at new recipes and crafts, and have some adventures. All too soon, it will be back to the grind-stone with school. But by then, maybe things will be a little livelier because of a blessedly busy summer.

Thanks so much for reading this rather scatterbrained post! I know my thoughts were all over the place, but this is a subject that's been on my mind a lot recently and I had to get it out! My main hope for my blog is to encourage individuality, hard work, and general common sense in a world when those things can be hard to find. I feel Coco Chanel really channeled all of that into her one brief quote. So ladies, let's get out there this summer and really show the world how classy and fabulous we are! :)

(via) So much more to life than simply surviving it.