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Monday, November 13, 2017

Know What Fills You Up


You are reading Monday Monologue #1. To read all posts in this series, click here.

We can very easily identify what drains us. We can voice that we don't like someone, complain about how tired we are after traveling, and admit to never getting certain tasks done because we dread them too much. But do we know what fills us up?

Since it's full fledged skating season and work is back to usual, my weeks have gotten rather intense. I'm a full-time para, skate most weeknights, and skate and coach every Saturday. Now, I spend my Sundays working at my friend's skate shop and then go to our team practices after work.

I chose this life and I LOVE it. It does, though, make me extra-conscious of my energy, how I'm using it, and most importantly, how I'm filling it back up. I'm trying to not spend my time worrying about the next day, but instead spend time preparing for it.

I am not a naturally positive person. I get frustrated with myself very quickly, and more often than I'd like to admit, throw myself into a woe-is-me crisis. But lately, I've been trying to turn the conversation around and instead of complaining about what is making me stressed/worried/uncomfortable/upset, identify what I need.

Sometimes, I need a snack. Sometimes, a coffee. There are days when my answer is yoga, a walk, time to fill out my planner or clean out my purse. There are days when I need to turn off Netflix and go to bed, and there are days when I just need to binge Friends.

Life is a lot more nuanced than we often give it credit. I think sometimes in our habit-forming, high-productivity lives we forget that life isn't black and white, and we have thousands of shades of gray area to figure out, too. I eat clean because sugar and chemicals make me feel crappy, but I also eat my fair share of donuts. I love reading classics but I also love watching sitcoms. Sometimes I drink coffee, but sometimes I crave tea. I love being home, and can easily waste away a few hours on the couch with my laptop, but I also love game nights and dinners and bonfires with my friends.

We can't eat a salad every single day just like we can't have cinnamon rolls every single day. Life is all about balance: our needs change day by day, and the secret is not simply forming good habits, but identifying what we actually need in that moment.

Since I'm in the middle of a busy season, this question has come up a lot lately. I want to take advantage of the amazing opportunities that have come my way, hit my goals for this season, spend lots of time with friends and family over the holidays, and finish reading Persuasion. I think if we took more time to set our priorities and listen to our minds and bodies when life gets busy, we'd have a lot more mental space to enjoy this phase of our lives instead of dreading it and playing the victim.

What fills you up? What keeps you rested, vibrant, positive, and grounded so you can be your best at work, your side gig, on the phone with your mom, while out with your friends, and maybe most importantly, in your own mind? These moments are our lives. We're writing our legacies right this second. Let's show up for them.

Happy Monday! xoxo
Gillian

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