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Saturday, May 3, 2014

An Explanation of Why I Own 6 Pairs of Black Shoes

Because I know blog readers are always interested in witty, intelligent content that adds value to their lives, I've decided to give you the much-anticipated explanation of why I own six pairs of black shoes. You're welcome.

You see, a woman at church had mentioned giving me a pair of Black Suede Pointed Toe Gold Capped Heels ( I KNOW), and that sparked Dad to ask if I really needed another pair of black shoes. Which of course meant I had to enlighten him on why, much like this woman and her jeans, my shoes are completely necessary. And how suddenly, a pair of Black Suede Pointed Toe Gold Capped Heels is necessary, too.

Black/Silver Flat Sandals:
Fourth of July Outfit // Shoe Packing // Casual Summer Outfit
Dad, I bought these at Payless after an entire summer of wearing flats to the beach. Seeing that they're my only sandals, I TOTALLY win the argument that these are necessary. But of course, they make me want brown sandals. Because there are only so many times you can wear black/silver sandals, right?

Old Black Flats:
Perhaps It's Not Just A Stereotype After All // 17
Okay, so this is how long I've owned these things: I bought them when I was still in the 'black church shoes, and white church shoes' stage. So, if you were to figure out price per wear, you'd find that I was totally justified with that purchase my frivolous 11 year-old self made. Now Dad, I know you're going to say that I should throw these away, since I now have a replacement. But, you're missing the point! Since I no longer have to attempt to keep these nice, I can wear them out to the barn, walking up the road, or anywhere else I just want to pull on shoes. It's like the loafers girls used to wear in the 40's and 50's. Completely necessary.

New Black Flats:
The Sunday Currently // A Collection of Things // Sorta Preppy Spring Outfit
These are the Old Black Flats replacements, which obviously didn't actually replace them, because I still own them, but they are presentable to wear out in public, so that is an improvement. Seeing that these are brand new and lovely, I like to wear them with all my preppy-ish outfits. While I love the structure of these shoes, especially when paired with flare-leg jeans and skirts, I think a slimmer shoe would look a lot better with skinny jeans. So, I would now like a pair of slim black flats. It's a vicious circle, Dad.

Black Mary Jane Heels:
Church picnic outfit. And apparently I'm making evil schemes.
Dad, here's the thing: this is the one shoe you could almost win the 'is it necessary?' argument with. This is the only picture of them I could find, and yes, I really should wear them more. BUT. They are necessary, because if I didn't have them, what would I possibly wear with this dress? Wearing this dress with flats would just look like a cop-out option, and my other heels just don't seem right. This is a vintage-y country girl dress, and should be worn with an appropriate vintage-y country girl heel. I win.

Black Peep Toes:
Spring church outfit // The Green Satin Prom Dress
These shoes. They've been there through every single weird style phase, the green prom dress disaster, and countless packings. They've been to one prom, three semis, and almost every single Sunday. They're starting to show their age, but seeing I never get rid of shoes, that's not really something to worry about. It just means that I'll continue thinking they're cute and amazing, and everyone else will wonder why I'm wearing tatters on my feet. *shrug*

Black Business Shoes:
Cigarette Pants Outfit // TYG: Skating Goals // 15 Winter Wardrobe Rants
Dad, remember the conversation we had in the store about these? No? Well, here it is:

ME: Dad! Do you like these?
DAD: Yes.
ME: Can I have them? They're $10.
DAD: That's too much for used shoes.
ME: But they LOOK new.
DAD: You already have black shoes.
ME: But not almond toed, black patent, professional shoes.
DAD: ...
ME: They'd be for interviews. Because you really shouldn't wear peep toes to an interview, but seeing that's all I have, I'm forced to.
DAD: ...
ME: I really would wear them, unless you think it's too much....
DAD: Fine.

But seriously, these shoes were worn the entire winter. For interviews, but also to church when peep toes would have looked silly, to plays, and to a million other dressy-ish things. Again, I totally win if we determine price-per-wear.

So there we have it, Dad. I admit I am a little overly obsessed with black shoes, but given my reasons, I'm sure you understand now. I do try to be frugal, and given that I've bought all of these at either Penny's, a thrift store, or Payless, I think I am. I mean, I could be shopping at J Crew or Kate Spade, right?

And just to prepare you, I'm on the hunt for some more black flats (slim ones, Dad. Weren't you paying attention?). Also, some black peep toes, without the slingbacks. Oh! And possibly a black wedge, either suede and entirely black, or with a brown wedge but black upper.

Ladies, show your support in the comments! We must win the multiple pairs of black shoes argument!

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