About Last Week #4

 I am sitting here on the Monday after Christmas, lots to do, my room a mess, and the period cramps setting in. We officially have only ONE WEEK left of this contract! It has completely flown by. Later today, I will be picking Chris about at the bus up from Ft. Lauderdale (he spent Christmas with his family down there), and he will be with me trough our last show week! Definitely looking forward to some more family time, some snuggles, and some gentle planning for the new year. 

MONDAY 12.20.21

Monday morning I went to Sofritos, our favorite local spot, with Kelsie and Connor. We messed around in the super touristy gift shop next to it for a bit, and then I dropped them off at the airport! That night I went into work and did two shows, both of which actually ended up getting rained out. We were still at the venue all day though. Afterwards, I curled up at home with some tea and did some blogging. :)

TUESDAY 12.21.21

Tuesday morning I had public skate, and we got all the way into the venue in the pouring rain before they canceled it! We were drenched, but happy to not have to be there all day. We went home and I spent the rest of the day watching You've Got Mail, and starting this embroidery kit! I am in love! Can't wait to work on it some more. After that it was just some meal prepping, and then back to the venue for our shows (the rain stopped). 

WEDNESDAY 12.22.21

Wednesday I was crazy tired...went into shows obviously, but honestly I didn't do much else. Just couldn't get out of my way for the whole day, and I felt pretty off. 

THURSDAY 12.23.21

Thursday was a complete whirlwind! I was busy all day going shopping for last minute Christmas treats, ordering last minute gifts, and prepping for a busy Christmas weekend. I got home from shows at 10:30pm, and immediately got to work making three batches of fudge, and a batch of white trash haha. I literally stayed up until 3am, making fudge and listening to podcasts and getting a little wine drunk in the middle of it all. For fudge I made: chocolate and toffee, peanut butter molasses, and white chocolate raspberry. So, so fun....maybe I'll post the recipes so I remember what I did next year! I love to come up with new ones every year. 

FRIDAY 12.24.21

Friday was Christmas Eve! I was up and moving pretty early because I had public skate. I worked public skate from 9:45am-3:30pm, then raced back to the hotel to package up my fudge and back for the night. I made six little fudge boxes: one for the cast, one for some close friends, one for Chris' parents, one for the hotel desk, on for the hotel housekeeping, and one for costuming. These little Christmas tins were 98 cents each at Walmart, and I couldn't help myself. So so cute!!

So after packing up the fudge, I zipped back to work for two shows. Then I went back to the hotel, showered, and hopped in the car for a 3-hour drive to Ft. Lauderdale to see Chris! Phew haha. I got in to his hotel at 2am; definitely a long day but any chance to spend Christmas morning with family is a no-brainer in my book. 

SATURDAY 12.26.21

Christmas day! Woke up in Ft. Lauderdale with Chris. :) We immediately went on a Starbucks run, then opened our stockings together. Afterwards we hung out with his parents, grandmother, and cousins on the rooftop of the hotel. It was a wonderful, relaxed family morning. I left early at about 1pm to zip back up to the show. I was SO TIRED on the drive...had to stop partway through to grab a coffee because I was convinced I was going to fall asleep. But it was also an easy drive, no traffic, some great podcasts, and I just felt so happy! I got back to Orlando at 4pm and zipped right over to the show. We had a super fun secret santa gift exchange at notes, then our typical two shows. That night we had an epic hotel party (I didn't go to bed until 6:30am...whoops!). Being together as a cast is always the best part of any ice show!

SUNDAY 12.27.21

Sunday was chill, and I have no pictures haha. I slept in pretty late, then had a relaxing afternoon to myself before heading in to work. Two good shows! Then a shower and to bed, where I got very distracted by watching videos of people cleaning their dishwashers on Instagram. I can literally not wait to go home and check our dishwasher filter. I'm taking time off from work once I get back, and I am stoked to finally get to deep clean everything!!!!

This week between Christmas and New Year's is always one of my favorites. Hope everyone has a good one!

xoxo Gillian

25?!

 

Last week, I turned 25! So weird. So fun! But honestly, crazy. There is something really interesting about being, inarguably, in your "-mid-20's." 25 seems to hold some kind of grown-up gravitas that 24 just didn't. 

I love getting older. I can truthfully say, even a pandemic later, that every year has been better than the last. I would never want to go back in time to live at a previous age: with each year that passes, I feel myself becoming more like the "me" I'd really like to be. Bumps and all, I am 1000% happier with myself, than I have ever been. I don't just mean "happy"--there are definitely days/weeks/seasons/years where I am depressed, or just not bright and positive. I mean happier with who I really am, as a person. Like I like myself. That's a new feeling! And one I hope just keeps getting better with age. 

Today at 25, I barely recognize myself. The past two years have held the most growth of possibly any other time in my life. I feel unrecognizable to my 22 year-old self...let alone my 20 or 15 year old selves. The past year held so many wonderful things and so many hard things. I am grateful for all the people that were a part of it, and let me lean on them. But also: I am very proud of myself. I am proud of who I am entering 25. There is not a single moment, of a single day, that I am not astounded by my good fortune in life turning out this way. Someway, somehow, I've ended up in a life story that I think is pretty cool, and as a person that I think is pretty cool, too. It's humbling. 

I was listening to a podcast recently and they were talking about how often we are sold this narrative of "Successful people are successful because they are ambitious, work hard, and refuse to give up!" In reality, however, there are lots of talented people involved in any art form or any industry....and not all of them are on the top or "successful" in our narrow definition of the word. Being "successful" requires ambition, hard work, a refusal to give up, and a lot of chance, luck, and circumstance. It's not going to shake out the same way for everyone. 

But what do we do with that information, as ambitious people? For me, I'm choosing to find a lot of freedom in it. I can own both my successes and my failures, but I also don't have to beat myself up for either of them. Sometimes I will fail because of my own short-coming, and sometimes I will fail because of a circumstance. They are both okay. They are both great! They both are opportunities for growth. 

At 25, I want to move forward into allowing myself more space for that concept. More space to be ambitious and ask for the things I want, as well as more space to be honest about what really doesn't feel good for me. I want to show up and challenge myself towards growing into the type of creative I want to be, while also knowing that who I am as a whole person today also holds incredibly value. At 25 I want creative projects, work, school, learning, studying, building, as well as deeply nurtured friendships, a precious marriage, time for books and crafts, dinner in the oven, long hikes with Bear, art on the walls, and flower gardens. Time, space, and openness of heart and mind towards all the things that make life worth living. I want that elusive "balance", or perhaps more accurately, the ebb and flow. 

I am setting this time aside to be proud of how far I've come, and to hold some hope that there is still so much time for a thousand more crazy, wonderful things. Here are a few things I am proud of myself for, in the past 25 years:

• Taking a real look at my skating self when I turned 18, and acknowledging that if shows were something I wanted to do, I'd have to make some changes. 18 year-old me knew nothing, had no connections, had no money, but honestly was pretty ballsy. I switched coaches, joined different teams, trained 6 days a week, watched countless videos, and talked to everyone, all while working full-time with a part-time job on the side. 3 years later I got a show! And was a fundamentally different skater. Honestly, I'm amazed I did this. 

• Always having a very clear gut feeling about whoever I was dating at the time, that I trusted. Even when I was with certain people longer than I "should" have been, I always knew what was and wasn't going to be a good situation. I trusted that feeling when it meant not being with people, and I trusted it when I met Chris!

• Moving out! Moving out was a really, really scary experience for me. It was emotionally heavy and anxiety-inducing to tell my parents what I was doing. But it was also the single best decision I've possibly ever made, and really led me to feel so much more myself and therefore just so much happier. Forever grateful for making that happen. :)

• Being a really good paraeducator. I don't think I talked about it on the blog much, but I worked as a para at high school for two years. It was so hard, and I was only 19 when I started there. My student was pretty high need. But I dug really deep, took lots of feedback, and I know I did a really good job. That job was an awesome experience, and sometimes I get nostalgic about it. 

• Running 4 miles last summer haha. I know that is nothing for some people, but I used to not like running, and have always struggled with pacing and distance. Running 4 decent miles was huge! As well as the fact that I am finally at a point where I really enjoy and crave running. 

• Starting to coach full-time. I fell into coaching a lot post-COVID, and then this spring I made the leap to make coaching and skating my full-time thing. Very, very proud of this, and honestly never expected it. 

• Being pretty great in the kitchen. Growing up with a mom that was always baking and cooking definitely helped, but over the past two years I've also experimented with lots of new recipes, and read quite a few blogs and books on food. I feel pretty confident to try basically anything, and to know that I can salvage most things. I love to cook, I love to bake, and I love the canning I've been able to do. Part of it just feels innate, and I really love that. 

• Having a really strong relationship with Chris. I'm proud of how neither of us played any games when we started dating, how we've both always been honest about what we wanted and needed, the way we talk about things that aren't working, and how much fun we have together. I'm very proud of just the healthiness of it. 

• Outgrowing old opinions. I used to be a far more judgmental person than I am today, and I had a lot of black and white thinking. I would love to write more about this at some point, but for now: I am proud of moving myself past that. I'm proud of how even when I was in the midst of it, I was open enough to entertain other ways of thinking, and how that listening eventually led me to re-evaluate some strongly held beliefs. I'm definitely a kinder person today, because of it. 

• I'm proud of being more fun that I was growing up. Hear me out: I used to be really uptight. I am still very uptight! But I'm much better at relaxing and letting myself enjoy things now. Life's a lot better that way!

• I'm proud of finishing MCT, the choreography training by American Ice Theatre. Another thing I haven't talked about a lot, but I'm really proud of not only taking the course but the work that I put into it. I'm especially proud of my final piece. 

• Having good taste in beer! I am weirdly delighted in my decent but rudimentary knowledge of beer, and I'm proud of how much I like it and like to talk about and seek out new ones. 

• Going to therapy! Even leading up to March of 2020 I was feeling so, so low, and the pandemic really exacerbated it. I am so glad I started going to therapy early on. It's been life altering and so, so helpful (if any part of you thinks you should go...you should go!).

25 is the year I'll get married! And maybe run a 10k? Do a new ice show? Move somewhere new? I'll definitely go for winter hikes and keep focusing on coaching, choreograph some fun stuff and make lots of food. It's going to be a good year. :)

About Last Week #3

 This past week was all over the place: last days off of the run, my birthday, closing out the semester of school, a holiday party, and friends visiting! Lots of good stuff. I also had a cold which was less fun, and honestly just felt a little off most of the week...but nothing a little quality time with friends and some self care didn't fix. 

Monday, 12.13.21

Honest, Monday was a blur. I feel like I barely remember what I did! We had the day off, and I had my last day of class for one of my remote classes. Then I spent the evening in the pool and ordered pizza with a cast mate. Somehow I didn't take a single photo all day...but enjoy this one Chris sent me of Bear!

Tuesday, 12.14.21

On Tuesday we had a party at one of my local cast-mates house! It was SO FUN! We all got dressed up and had a great time. Everyone made and brought food, I made barbecue chicken in my Instant pot to top baked potatoes with, and I also made some cookies at their house. 

Wednesday, 12.15.21

Wednesday was a bit of a recovery day from the night before! I took my very last final, cleaned my room and read my book, then had a good long soak in the hot tub and worked out. That night Chris and I had a wonderfully long video chat. We don't video call very often, and even though we talk every day we don't always have time for long calls. It felt like a cozy date night!

Thursday, 12.16.21

Thursday was my 25th birthday! I kept it pretty chill though. I went to a wax appointment in the morning, and then a Target run to get some Christmas stuff. I treated myself to two new pairs of earrings! Then I worked the public skate session at work, and hung out with my friend, Emily, for the evening. A perfect, low-key day. 

Friday, 12.17.21

I don't know what was the matter with me, but Friday morning I just felt...bad? Tired, and definitely with a bit of a head cold. I also felt kind of anxious and depressed, just melancholy and generally off. Did my best to pull myself together and clean the room, but I honestly didn't do much outside of getting myself to work. After shows, though, I showered and went to the airport to pick up my friend Kelsie and her boyfriend!

Saturday, 12.18.21

Saturday we spent the day in the park together, and they got to see the show! So fun. :) I've honestly never had a non-skater friend visit me at a contract before, and it was such a treat to get this time together since we don't see each other enough, even when I am home!

Sunday, 12.19.21

Sunday morning Kelsie and I went to Celebration (Disney's residential neighborhood) to grab breakfast at their diner! They also had a farmer's market going on in their market square, so we got to explore that as well. It was a perfect morning of chatting and eating great friend and just relaxing together! We headed back to the hotel in the afternoon, where I dropped her off and headed in to work myself. 

Overall, this was such a fun week with so much good social time. We are in the last two weeks of this contract! It has gone by so quickly; much quicker than in years past. I'm honestly not ready for it to end!

About Last Week #2

 Proud of myself for showing up for week #2 of this little series, haha. Here is to attainable goals! Last week featured lots of wrapping up of the semester, shows, and some family visits. A good time! 

MONDAY, 12.6.21

We had Monday through Thursday off last week, so I spent the day focusing on getting as much homework done as possible. Chris sent me this adorable snapchat. That night I sat in the hot tub, and then what was going to be a chill cast hotel room hangout turned into QUITE the night of Margaritas, ridiculous games, and lots of laughing. A good time. 

TUESDAY, 12.7.21

Not gonna lie, I was not feeling my best Tuesday morning haha. But a slow start led to a productive day working on a huge paper I needed to write! I took a lot of my writing to the pool, and then finished the night with a glorious bubble bath. 

WEDNESDAY, 12.8.21

Sometimes I struggle to eat enough while I'm away from home or busy, so I've been making sure to have lots of snacks. These little crackers from Trader Joe's are the perfect thing to much on when I just need something. Wednesday morning I got up early and went skating at the real rink. I worked on my Bronze ice dances with some friends from the cast! Then I went to the grocery store, and came home to more homework. Wednesday night we had a cast BBQ at the grills outside the hotel!

THURSDAY, 12.9.21

Thursday I was on the grind for school from 9am until 11pm. The big due date was submitting my creative non-fiction portfolio, which when completed was 45 pages long! I spent all day writing, then put on makeup and real clothes to film me reading some excerpts from it. Got it done!

FRIDAY, 12.10.21

I had a ton to do Friday: we were back to shows, we had a re-block rehearsal in the afternoon, and my parents were flying in. I needed to do lots of HW but honestly I was so drained from Thursday that I gave myself time Friday morning to just watch Seinfeld and slowly drink my coffee. It was divine. I did get a few things done, but overall I let myself take Friday slow!

My parents were here on Saturday! After a slow morning we spent the day at Seaworld, then they saw both shows. After shows we went out to dinner at Yardhouse. 

Sunday, 12.12.21

Sunday morning my parents and I made pancakes and then hung out by the pool. Around 12:30 we left for me to drive them to the airport, and then I went to work. This has been where 99% of my schoolwork as been done since I got here: at the venue between shows, on the floor, sitting on a show towel, laptop in hand (and snacks close by).

This coming week we have more days off, a cast holiday party, and officially my LAST DAY of the semester (finally!). I'm excited to do some good relaxing, spend time outside, and crank through the last bit of school. Then my birthday is Thursday, and then we're in shows from Friday all the way until January 2nd! My best friend also comes to visit this coming weekend, so I'm looking forward to that. 

Happy Monday, everyone! xoxo

About Last Week #1

Gonna try a new little thing! I've always wanted to be more consistent at capturing "real-life" on the blog. For me personally, I love looking back on posts with lots of photos. I don't scrapbook or anything, so Instagram and this blog is a huge way that I reminisce! Here's what last week looked like, a photo a day. 

MONDAY 11.29.21

MONDAY 11.29.21

The semester is wrapping up, and Monday I tackled some larger final projects so I could fully relax while Chris visited! I also painted my nails for the first time in a long time and I am obsessed! Why don't I do this more?!

TUESDAY 11.30.21

Spent the morning doing homework and working out and then picked up my baby at the airport! This was the shortest 36-hours visit but it was so fun and so resetting. :) Tuesday we just hung out at the hotel, sat with some of the cast around the fire pit, and I made a new pasta recipe from the Joy The Baker Holiday magazine!

WEDNESDAY 12.1.21

Wednesday started with breakfast at our absolute favorite Orlando place, Sofritos! We discovered it when I did Sea World in 2019 and it's become our go-to. :) Amazing coffee, and I always get the arepas! Later we did some Christmas shopping, then shut down Disney Springs haha. 

THURSDAY 12.2.21

Chris left for the airport early in the morning. :( I went back to sleep, then had a lazy morning before working Public Skate at SeaWorld, and skating a show for a special staff event that night. 

FRIDAY 12.3.21

No photos. It was kind of a stressful workday, and I struggled to get as much homework done as I'd been planning.

SATURDAY 12.4.21

Had a great little skate on ensemble ice, with a beautiful sunset! Lots of homework and then two shows in the evening.

SUNDAY 12.5.21

A very busy day! Got up at 6:30am to do a few hours of homework before getting to the venue, worked at Public Skate 9:45-3:30, then skated ensemble ice at 4:30, and then the whirlwind of notes, makeup, pre-setting, two shows, plus staying up late to submit a big final! Quite a day, but I treated myself to a Starbucks coffee partway through!

Happy Tuesday! These are the days xoxo.