Over the years, I've talked a lot about my ultimate, dream goal: to work for a professional skating company, like Disney on Ice or Willy Bietak. That dream has gone through many stages. There was the the shiny-eyed stage at 13, when getting in seemed so attainable for my future adult self. This was followed by the complete inadequacy stage of about 18, when graduation was just around the corner and I felt like I'd fooled myself into believing show skating was an option. This led into the desperation stage of 19, where I tried to put myself out there (and took some huge steps!) but was so nervous that I couldn't count on myself to really perform well.
But now, I think I've entered the courage stage. I'm 20 years-old, and feel very at peace with my skating. I will always want to be better, and strive to be better, but I'm not letting that want distract me from all the things I can currently do. I'm being more professional with how I approach getting a show job, but I've also switched my mindset so that now, I'm doing it for me. Even if nothing ever comes from it, I love skating. I like this process. It's a challenging way for me to put myself out there, and I grow so much with each step. I really like this stage, guys.
After literally years of video attempts, I finally contacted a professional to actually do it. We met on Saturday during one of the club sessions, and got all the filming done! I used Tap House Media, an awesome local company. We actually know the founders through their parents, and Heidi was so wonderful. I thought I might be nervous, or self-conscious, but the whole morning was so comfortable and fun.
The night before I made a list of everything I wanted to remember to do, and I think we got it all in there. I came up with some footwork sequences to show off different things, and spent a lot of time spinning and doing show tricks like spread eagles and illusions. My jumping has been a little weird lately, so I saved that until the end, with the plan to send her some of my own jumping videos if I couldn't do any good ones while she was there. But not to worry! I landed axels and double salchows! I'm slowly but surely pulling myself out of this rut. My jumps are definitely my weakest area when it comes to qualifications, so I wish I could showcase more doubles, entrance variations, and combos to show. At some point this year, I'd like to make an updated jumping reel so I have more to send out, but with the season I've had for jumping, I'm actually really happy with what got filmed.
At the very end, I ran through my showcase program. Late summer, I worked with Kate McSwain to choreograph it and I am so in love with it. The music is a Boogie Woogie Bugel Boy/Candyman medley, and it's very retro and rockabilly. I still need to work on consistently landing my jumps in it, but I'm so excited to take it to a showcase competition. I do love the faces and acting that's in this program, so I really wanted snippets of it in the video.
It felt so good to finally take this step! When the video's ready, I'll definitely be sharing it here. Action is the best way to cure feelings of inadequacy.
Happy Monday! xoxo
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